My most comfortable place is...
YOU GUESSED IT....
on the toilet.
Now I know what you may think, "toilet? why in the world would you be comfortable there?" Well I'll tell you.
Imagine this, there is a murderer in your house and it is impossible to escape him, and (as a side note) when all people die occasionally a person will "release their bowels" as all of the muscles in the body relax and the person kicks the bucket. Therefore, I feel as if a toilet would be very comfortable place because i can squeeze out that last poo, BEFORE I GET MURDERED. Therefore i would not look silly when I am found dead. AND LORD KNOWS THE COP WILL SAY SOMETHING LIKE "He pooped himself... must of been a punk scaredy cat." But of course that could of been in terms that were much more hurtful.
Also if I had one of those cushions, you know, the kind that would always be in grandma's house and would always be warm because for some reason as you get older your ability to sit on hard surfaces diminish and your seat needs to always be heated. ANYWAYS, I feel like if you had that AND you could poop right before you're murdered you would have the ultimate comfortable room. Because thats physical and mental security AMIRIGHT?
Speaking of which when I was a child, I saw a movie (don't remember the name) where this person was being bullied. In fact I bet it wasn't a movie at all I bet it was Ned's declassified school survival guide. Then when people would bully Ned he would run into the bathroom and somehow "vanish" aka put his feet up on the toilet and lock the stall. Of course I' vve never had this problem because I'm awesome, but of course a part of me felt the fear Ned was feeling, it was as if I was Ned for a period of time. IT WAS CRAZY.
It's unbelievable that the simple things in life are the most extraordinary, the toilet blog was not a joke, this was a true realization that places you spend a lot of time, a bedroom, a classroom, a court, a pool, a bathroom, are the places where you feel the most relaxed. This is because it is impossible to feel at home where you have never been. As well as the greatest memories people ever have are with their families; playing a game, or being together.
So... Yeah....
<3
Matt Out
Video soon
I can tell you've put a lot of thought into this, and to be quite honest, it's a pretty solid plan (pun indented), except for the part when the person who is in your house has to come kill you while you're in the middle of taking a duce. I just feel like that might deter the person from killing you, so then this whole thing is just a waste of time, and poop. But besides that 12/10 might read again.
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